Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
