I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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