Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
