The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
