im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
