I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
