I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
