I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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