Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
In America we eat man semen.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
