Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
