I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
