It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
