I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
