The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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