well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
