is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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