haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize