i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
