Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize