after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
