I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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