Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize