I am puke
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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