drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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