"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
