yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
