Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize