the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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