um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Randomize
