New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
