It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
