and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
