My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
