my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
