then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
