just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she was so not down for the gang bang
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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