that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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