don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
