After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
