How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize