Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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