apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
