Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
