So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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