i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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