I wannas sexs uuuuu
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
