She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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