just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
