Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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