After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
