Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
