he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
