You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
