Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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