it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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