Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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