i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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