so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
