I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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