wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
