I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
