Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This baby is an asshole
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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