I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
