I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize