Pants 0. Shit 1.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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