I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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