so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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