dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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